I am an independent filmmaker who, like the very best of laundrettes offers
a foolproof service. Fortunately I am not a room full of appliances equipped
to drum out stubborn stains, but a person engineered to swill out stories
and craft them into films.

My likeness to laundrettes ends with my efficiency. My ability to capture stories parallels that of a laundrette’s to clean. But unlike laundrettes I do not show prejudice against dogs; I actually encourage their presence. So far as to say,
if I were to dress a dog in an overcoat and it told me a tale in return,
then I would cease to make films, buy many coats, and live in
Battersea a happy man.

Currently in dressing a dog I have only been entertained by sharp teeth,
so film remains my device. And excitingly the magnificence of a story, scale
or grandeur no longer dictates one story’s precedence over another. As films begin to populate the Internet, and audiences are shifting from conventional broadcasts, every story has a forum in which to be screened. Whether an individual’s account or corporation’s document, films have their host.

So until dogs stand tall on their hind legs and can dictate anecdotes,
films will be my trade.